i'm not talking about the kind of dreaming you do at night while sleeping.
i'm talking about the kind where you have what you think is an awesome entry for a
national contest to come up with a 60 second commercial for a postal product..and the winning idea becomes THE national postal commercial.
i had cool music, a fun concept and cool tag lines.
unfortunately it wasn't cool enough to even win the regional contest. (insert loud sobbing noise here).
i always wanted to be like Dick VanDyke and Morrie Amsterdam or Darren Stevens and Larry Tate on Bewitched..sitting around and playing with jingles and ad campaigns for a living.
guess i'm back to being, Cliff or even worse, Newman.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
karma contined: canine edition
sorry all of you dog lovers out there, but this story has to be told.
several years ago, a carrier that i work with, who will remain nameless, told me this karma filled episode from his route.
one of X's customers had a yappy little dog that would go batshit crazy every time
that he put mail in the box. not so unusual.
on one particular day, tired of this obnoxious pup, X decided to do some trash-talking at the dog through the closed door .
after calling the doggy a few choice names, he ended the conversation with "I hope you die!".
a few minutes later, one of the kids at the house opened the door to get the mail
and the dog got out.
at this point, X had already crossed the street to deliver the other side.
little old yappy, in hot pursuit of X, also crossed the street..or rather,
tried to. he had his eyes on the prize and didn't see the car coming.
sadly, it squashed him before he could fulfill his lifelong dream of sinking his incisors into X's leg. he died on the spot.
imagine X trying to comfort the grieving family, all the while knowing he and his postal karma had caused their pooch's untimely demise.
several years ago, a carrier that i work with, who will remain nameless, told me this karma filled episode from his route.
one of X's customers had a yappy little dog that would go batshit crazy every time
that he put mail in the box. not so unusual.
on one particular day, tired of this obnoxious pup, X decided to do some trash-talking at the dog through the closed door .
after calling the doggy a few choice names, he ended the conversation with "I hope you die!".
a few minutes later, one of the kids at the house opened the door to get the mail
and the dog got out.
at this point, X had already crossed the street to deliver the other side.
little old yappy, in hot pursuit of X, also crossed the street..or rather,
tried to. he had his eyes on the prize and didn't see the car coming.
sadly, it squashed him before he could fulfill his lifelong dream of sinking his incisors into X's leg. he died on the spot.
imagine X trying to comfort the grieving family, all the while knowing he and his postal karma had caused their pooch's untimely demise.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
don't jerk with the postal karma
a few routes ago, i had many, many customers that i adored
and a few that "challenged" me.
in fact three of the "challenges" lived on the same street.
VERY shortly after a particularly tough "situation" with customer #1,
i found out that he was guilty of Medicaid fraud (he was a shrink).
soon after, he lost his licence and faced a stiff financial penalty.
customer #2, after screwing with my brain, met a similar fate, only he was an anaesthesiologist, and wound up in the slammer!
customer # 3, (who insisted that i only deliver certain catalogs and not the others
even though i repeatedly tried to explain to him that when it comes to junk mail, it's all or nothing) wound up drowning in the lake at his summer home.
makes you wonder.
nothing extremely bad seemed to happen to the nice folks on that route during my tenure.
suffice it to say.............
i will never, ever jerk with my mailguy...
and a few that "challenged" me.
in fact three of the "challenges" lived on the same street.
VERY shortly after a particularly tough "situation" with customer #1,
i found out that he was guilty of Medicaid fraud (he was a shrink).
soon after, he lost his licence and faced a stiff financial penalty.
customer #2, after screwing with my brain, met a similar fate, only he was an anaesthesiologist, and wound up in the slammer!
customer # 3, (who insisted that i only deliver certain catalogs and not the others
even though i repeatedly tried to explain to him that when it comes to junk mail, it's all or nothing) wound up drowning in the lake at his summer home.
makes you wonder.
nothing extremely bad seemed to happen to the nice folks on that route during my tenure.
suffice it to say.............
i will never, ever jerk with my mailguy...
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