Yikes

i published a book in the spring.
it's about aging boomers.
it's about how we use to smoke pot and now we just take care of our suburban manicured lawns.
it's about sagging boobs and boob jobs.
it's about botox , SUV's and triple lattes.
it's not warm and fuzzy.
it's crusty and snarky.
there is one illustration that involves full-frontal nudity.
why am i telling you this?
only because my oldest and most catholic, country club blue blooded customers got a phone call from one of their old neighbors.
she told them that she knew i was their mail carrier ..and asked if they had seen the book i had written.
this lady is a friend of my mom's..she's very avante garde and open minded and LOVED the book.
that's cool.. but why would she tell these totally conservative, proper people about it???
so, they met me at the door yesterday telling me that they were on their way out to buy a copy of the book.
how could i tell them.."no..don't do it!"
i froze.
they pulled out of the driveway and waved goodbye!
OH MY GOD! this is not going to have a happy ending.
i told brian about it this morning because he use to deliver this route and he knows these people and has read my book.
"Brian..how do you think they are going to react to the book?"
"You can kiss your Christmas tip goodbye." was his response.
today as i got closer to delivering their house i got a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.
please do not be home !
shoot!
there's MR. B backing out of his driveway.
please just keep driving!
shoot!
there is his power window going down.
"We got your book."
shoot.
"It was very (pause--------------------) clever".
he hated it.
"My wife liked it very much!"
nice save!
well at least that's over with...
and we can all move on.